Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
