dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
