I accidentally burped into my bong.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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