Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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