I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
false alarm, still single
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
