I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
