This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
