Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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