I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i now understand why vodka
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize