Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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