ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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