I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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