Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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