Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
