I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
