What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
