I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
