i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
