garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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