Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize