That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I smell like Dick and happiness
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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