Will you blow on my dice?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
