and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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