he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
