He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
