It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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