dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
