I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
