he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
