Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
