butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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