The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
