why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
