She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
