Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
