he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
