bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
