apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
