Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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