ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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