I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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