you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
