Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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