Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
