Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I love you. Go after that dick
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize