Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
soo... how was my night?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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