Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
