I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize