whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
