My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
