She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
