return my video game
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
