Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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