Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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