I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
