Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
