so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
