I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
