her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
